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Mental Wellness

by | Jul 4, 2022

Mental Wellness

Let’s face it. For most of us, the world is rapidly changing in ways we never expected. Every day (sometimes every hour) brings more alarming news. Stuck indoors with few answers and easy access to every negative, scary, crazy idea on the Internet, we’re all feeling more than a little overwhelmed. Life is going to slow down. The conveniences we once took for granted are being blocked or disintegrating before our eyes. Boredom will be common. Instead of fighting the changes, however uncomfortable they may be, let’s all try to remember what’s truly important: human lives. We’re not fighting for territory, wealth, or political ideologies. We’re all fighting an invisible enemy that doesn’t discriminate.

Mental Wellness Exercises

It’s important that we maintain our mental wellness so we can make good decisions and continue to look out for and support each other. Try these daily exercises for mental wellness.

1. Meet your needs

Give your body and mind what it needs to thrive each day. Maintain healthy sleep/wake cycles. Shower, wear clean clothes, and prepare nutritious food. Get some sunshine, even if it’s only by opening the window shades. Take a walk in your yard if you can.

2. Prioritize your wants

As modern conveniences become unavailable, take a realistic inventory of your desires. Plan alternatives should access to your favorite activities and past-times be curtailed.

3. Share your surplus

If you have more than you need, share it with others. Get creative. Maybe what you have aren’t material possessions or wealth. Maybe it’s knowledge, skill, or time.

4. Embrace the truth

It’s okay to filter the constant barrage. Decide early what information sources are credible and ignore the rest. Information overload is detrimental to us all. Unplug. Disconnect. Give yourself a daily allotment of online time and use it wisely.

5. Tune out of fear

If something you hear, see, or read is disturbing, turn it off. Block out anything that will cause you more distress than necessary. Truth is the remedy for fear.

6. Breathe

When we’re anxious, worried, or fearful we naturally hold our breath or take shallow breaths. This increases the stress on our bodies. Take several moments throughout the day to enjoy several slow, deep breaths. It will lower your heart rate, your blood pressure, and help you relax.

7. Laugh

Nothing breaks tension like laughter. Watch comedies, share jokes, and be silly.

8. Express gratitude

Count your blessings and acknowledge them openly. Try a gratitude journal or recruit some friends to share each day.

9. Show kindness

It’s always free and it’s contagious. Smile, say, “please” and “thank you,” and give grace to those having a bad day.

10. Connect

Social distancing does not mean total isolation. Pick up the phone, send a text, and connect with friends online.

Need help?

If you’re struggling to use these 10 exercises for mental wellness, book a free consult with me and we’ll work together to customize a plan that works for you.

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Broken

by | Feb 17, 2021

Broken

When I was still young and inexperienced, I received a ceramic mug as a gift. I held onto it as part of a small collection of decorative treasures I hoped to one day place in a china cabinet. I was in my 40s before I finally got that cabinet, so I stored my treasures in boxes for a long time. When the day finally came to fill it up, the handle of this mug was broken into two pieces during the unpacking. 

I’ve learned some valuable lessons about trauma and recovering from trauma because of this little broken cup. Maybe you can learn a thing or two as well.

1. We try to hide our damage.

Holding onto the mug, I never repaired it (because it would never be the same) and never tossed it out (because I couldn’t part with something so special). I left it in the cabinet with the broken pieces placed inside and rotated the mug to show off the parts that were still whole.

2. We get stuck.

We’re all guilty of thinking that we can only make an impact when we put our best selves forward. For some of us, that desire to “do our best” can be the very thing that gets in our way. Inevitably, pieces of our lives break. Not wanting to show our weakness, we tuck the broken pieces inside. Then we show the world what we think is the best version of ourselves.

3. We’re not fooling anyone.

We try so hard to hide the broken pieces, pretending they’re not there. No one mentions the jagged, broken edges, but that doesn’t mean they don’t notice. Others can tell that we have work left to do.

4. We must do the work.

For whatever reason, today I finally decided to attempt a repair. The process was messy as I have never mastered the art of using SuperGlue without getting it all over everything except the one thing I’m trying to fix. The mug will never be new again. Small pieces are missing that can never be replaced. It’s no longer broken, yet not quite whole either, as its scars are jagged and visible. It’s something different because now it has a story.

5. We can use our damage to help others.

The words on my mug were accurate. Oddly enough, like the mug, I had to break (and stay broken for a while) to touch the lives of others. My missing pieces and scars — jagged and visible — are the very things that made it possible to become the person described on the side of the mug.

6. People notice when we heal.

When we shine a light on the broken bits, we can carefully mend them back together. This is when we are truly authentic. Yet there is risk in healing. We need the light to see clearly enough to make the repairs. Yet that light makes our damage visible to others. People will notice that we are healing. They may see the messes we make, the false starts, and failures. Yet they will also watch us clean up that mess, regroup, and try again.

7. The scars become part of our story.

Those damaged — now repaired — places become the central character in our story. The story now becomes one worth sharing. We touch many lives when we can finally say, “I was broken. Now I’m healed.”

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Remedy for Fear

by | Mar 14, 2020

Remedy for Fear

The world is afraid

On March 11, 2020, the World Health Organization declared coronavirus a global pandemic, the United States issued a travel ban on all incoming travel from most of Europe, and the world began to fall apart. Store shelves have been emptied within hours as people stock up on whatever they think they might need. Reports of hoarding and price gouging are pouring in. Sporting events, conferences, and schools are closing for two weeks or more.

We think we are powerless.

We feel powerless in the face of so many unknowns. The unknown makes us all fearful, and if left unchecked, that fear can spiral out of control into anxiety, panic, and desperation. The illusion of control has been stripped away. Our assumptions about how the world works have been turned upside down. Our everyday routines are changing suddenly and we are powerless to stop it. Things we have taken for granted are no longer. We can’t coast through life right now and that scares the living daylights out of us. Our leaders, the media, and even our doctors don’t have all the answers. The sheer volume of conflicting information is mind-boggling. No wonder so many are confused and afraid.

Truth is the remedy.

There may not be a vaccine, treatment, or cure for COVID-19 (the disease caused by the SARs-coV-2 virus), yet there is a cure for fear. Truth is the remedy for fear. Knowledge — accurate, relevant information — can help us make reasonable decisions in the face of so much unrest. I’ve included a list of reliable information sources at the bottom of this page. Please, ignore the headlines. Go straight to these sources for accurate information. Make your decisions based on facts, not emotion.

What can we do?

We all need each other right now. This is not the time to “look out for Number One” or let everyone “fend for themselves.” Yes, please do wash your hands and practice social distancing. Just don’t lose your humanity. Call, email, or text your friends and loved ones. Check on your neighbors. If you have a surplus of food, medicine, or supplies, share them.

Doing my part

In addition to following my advice above, I am opening up my available office hours to anyone who needs to talk during this very stressful period. If you are struggling with stress, worry, anxiety, or need help problem-solving due to anything related to coronavirus, travel restrictions, changes in routine, cancellations, etc., please reach out I’ve also extended my office hours to make it easier for everyone to get the help they need.

Under normal circumstances, I serve the greater Kaiserslautern Military Community. In light of recent events, my services are available to anyone, anywhere in the world who needs support. From now, through May 14, 2020, I am waiving my normal session fees.

I am here for you.

Truth is the remedy.

I’m committed to passing out the truth, free of charge, to anyone who needs it.

Information we need

I will update this list as warranted. If you know of a good source that you think should be included, please contact me and I’ll review it for inclusion.

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Avoid a Fibro Flare

by | Jul 14, 2015

Avoid a Fibro Flare

Diagnosed with fibromyalgia?

Then you know how difficult it can be just to get out of bed each morning. The pain and stiffness can be so severe that you need help just getting upright. Just taking a shower can wipe you out for the rest of the day. Everyday activities can seem impossible. There is a delicate balance between doing too much and not moving enough. Either one can set off a fibro flare that confines you to bed for days. We can’t always prevent or avoid a fibro flare. However, it helps to have some simple strategies to reduce the risk.

Here are my “top 10” strategies for avoiding a fibro flare.

  1. Stretch your muscles for a few minutes before getting out of bed.
  2. Roll to your side and then push up to a sitting position. Don’t try to stand up all in one step.
  3. GO SLOW. Give your body time to adjust to movement.
  4. Take a shower at night so you can recover while sleeping.
  5. Wear loose-fitting, comfortable clothing. Donate everything else.
  6. Choose ONE activity to accomplish each day. Don’t try to clean the whole house.
  7. Stay on top of the pain by treating early. Use non-drug options first.
  8. Don’t be stubborn. Ask for help.
  9. Don’t sit for too long.
  10. Take frequent breaks.

What are your Fibro Top 10?

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